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Defend Your Illusion

by Jackson Cavalier & The Big Dead Waltz

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1.
Well I was so much younger So much younger than today Oh when I discovered Exactly What it to takes To break somebodies heart Leave em blue, leave em broken Leave them drowning in the deep dark ocean and when sink comes to swim well I hope you have what it takes to Keep your head above water Keep your head above water Keep your head above water Don't you be drowning on me Oh you were best teacher at the art of breaking hearts You split me right open And hit me where it hurts And with no heart beat pounding My limbs gave quit to work As I began drowning The only words I swore I had heard were to Keep your head above water Keep your head above water Keep your head above water Don't you be drowning on me Keep your head above water Keep your head above water Keep your head above water Don't you be drowning tonight It was a disaster A shipwreck in the dark My lips blue and frozen You had me exactly where you wanted But I kept on going I had a fire in my heart with waves crashing winds blowing I kicked with all I got And I know its hard To keep yourself afloat But you gotta keep going keep on reaching for the rope Because when I reached that shore I looked back at you and smiled for you were just nothing but a tempest raging wild Keep your head above water Keep your head above water Keep your head above water Don't you be drowning on me Keep your head above water Keep your head above water Keep your head above water Don't you be drowning tonight Keep your head above water Keep your head above water Keep your head above water Don't you be drowning on me Keep your head above water Keep your head above water Keep your head above water Don't you be drowning tonight Keep your head above water Keep your head above water Keep your head above water Don't you be drowning on me Keep your head above water Keep your head above water Keep your head above water Don't you be drowning tonight Keep your head above water Keep your head above water Keep your head above water Don't you be drowning on me Keep your head above water Keep your head above water Keep your head above water Don't you be drowning tonight
2.
Changes 05:02
There comes a time, comes a time for changing There comes a time, time for some rearranging And you got yours and I'm on my own now There comes a time to pay the debt ya owe now You got your family, and I need a friend now And you got love, I need a helping hand now But you're still lonesome writing your thoughts down There comes a time where you best move along now Don't lie, Don't lie, you've been telling all your friends Your alibi, all about how I drove ya to your wits ends It does your conscience good to put the blame on what ya heard I'm not sticking around to feel the pain Let me tell ya a secret I'll probably love ya til my last day But it don't matter it don't matter anyway I got my freedom, you got your whole life now And you'll get married, you'll settle down now I'm on the road playing what could've been now, There comes a time where you rewrite the lines now I won't lie, I won't lie I've been telling all my friends My alibi, all about, how ya drove me to my wits ends It does my conscience good to put the blame on what I heard I'm not sticking around to feel the pain Let me tell ya a secret you might've loved me til your last day But it don't matter it don't matter anyway
3.
Trying Times 04:19
Sitting round the apartment doing nothing all day Wonder when this is all gonna come to an end Waste away the days and drink the nights away Wonder if there's anyway out of my head These trying times they ain't got no reason no rhyme These trying days they feel so out of place 'Miss going outside I miss my friends Wonder how everyone's doing these days Think of starting over think of making amends Feels like it could be so easy these days These trying times they ain't got no reason no rhyme These trying days they feel so out of place Things ain't alright, things ain't okay I'd hope it'd pass on by, looks like its here to stay These trying times they ain't got no reason no rhyme These trying days they feel so out of place These trying times they ain't got no reason no rhyme These trying days they feel so out of place These trying times they ain't got no reason no rhyme These trying days they feel so out of place
4.
Heavy Krown 03:24
There's someone, who's keeping you down, there's an awful weight on the head under crown And see those chains at your feet, watch them climb from from your roots to your neck back down to your feet in the deep where those snakes all sleep at ease oh please darling please you said you would be fine it was a lie why do you lie Oh love, you gotta get away, get away you better run as fast as you can before its too late Because this man hes gonna use and abuse hes gonna take you for all that you got til there's nothing left of you left to lose oh still you swear, swear that you're fine You better get out hold your knife at your side now its due to be freed from the hilt of your hip so poignant so poignant and so true and as you feed it to that handsome bastard whos made you so blue better hit the road change your name and hide it, hide it from all who knew Oh love, you gotta get away, get away you better run as fast as you can before its too late His lust, his evil ways, fingers touch, hands clasped as you pray begging don't stop hands shake knees quake, you're somewhere between heaven and hell the sun rose and fell on his face, guiding his hands so swiftly over your waist the pressure builds spells crawling down your spine before you leave for one last time There's someone, who's keeping you down, there's an awful weight on the head under crown and see those chains at your feet, watch them climb from from your roots to your neck back down
5.
Kathleen 03:13
You said you had a loss for words well tell me honey how is life with no tongue You said you had a feeling then but that feeling's just like you, you've gone on and I saw you dancing in my shadow with your fingers running through my thinning hair and there was a word I tried to find and I remembered it while I was sitting there Kathleen, you haunt me in my sleep Kathleen, I get no rest from the things you do to me Kathleen, you're the specter in my dreams Kathleen, stay away from me Kathleen I'd sooner sell my soul to pay back the debt I owe to your mother and your father he told me once I needed an education to be your lover and those words I took to heart but surely paid no heed to them and it was truly a mistake on my end for I found out I needed so much more than wisdom Kathleen, you haunt me in my sleep Kathleen, you don't know the things you do to me Kathleen, you're the monster in my dreams Kathleen, stay away from me Well you're singing in your velvet gown and I'm wondering what has got you down for I know we have been in this place before and you told me how you felt so heavy like you were just a friend and I was leaving you out in the cold And if your tongue is broke tell me how do you still sing with a broken tongue And if my hands are broke tell me how do I still keep strumming along And if my heart is broke tell me how I can spend it, yeah, on your love And tell me now that you feel broke and broken down just like I had felt before Kathleen, you haunt me in my sleep Kathleen, I get no rest from the things you do to me Kathleen, you're the specter in my dreams Kathleen, stay away from me Kathleen
6.
Used To Say 05:06
You used to say you had to go on just what you knew You used to say you had a notion that I'd soon be leaving you Well I heard every word you spoke but I could never read your mind How could I read your thoughts like that while you were creeping up from behind Well mama turn your thoughts around things will be better I swear it's true I may not be your lover no longer but I know just what you'll do What do you want from me baby, what could I possibly give to you? Is there something you'd like to see my thoughts are hiding in plain view If you simply just cannot believe I'd stick my neck out for the likes of you Then there's not much left to say nothing I could do to convince you That mama my thoughts are spinning round and I know not what to do Once was your lover but now I'm absolutely nothing to you Come down from your golden tower for you know I need a friend One that I've had one time before and I will never see again What card do you got up your sleeve is it temperance is it death And when will you show it to me and reveal my true end If there is a single thing a single stone you left unturned Nows time to see the other side or leave those feelings in the dirt Well mama turn your thoughts around things will be better yes it's true We may not be lovers no longer but you know just what I'll do
7.
Love is a lie from a broken heart it tells itself to mend dreamin on and dreamin away lonesome days until ya find a friend who's gonna take you as you please who's gonna satisfy your needs who's gonna give you everything you wanted or wish to be They say what ain't broke don't need no fix til you cant get your kicks your lover found another and you caught em undercover what a wicked trick that the one who took you as you please the one who satisfied your needs the one you gave with all your heart to turned out to be so sick The moss on my rolling stone well it ain't got no home I've searched high and low but I ain't found no place, no place to rest these bones Somebody said true love was dead but I dont agree so keep dreamin dreamin away lonesome days I'll play make believe that someones gonna take my hand that someone will make me understand someone will destroy obliterate and then disband The moss on my rolling stone well it ain't got no home I've searched high and low but I ain't found no place, no place to rest these bones
8.
Jimmy O'Kane 04:24
He was found dead and alone Nobody had heard his last faint groan Or knew when his sad heart ceased to beat No mourner lingered With tears or sighs But the stars they looked down with their pitying eyes And the chill winds passed with A wailing sound Over the lonely spot where His form was found His name was Jimmy O'Kane He was Stillwater bound In 1844 is when he broke ground On his lonesome camp, how he would Build it out of that good Adirondack wood There he would spend the rest of his days Choosing to live in more Natural ways Jimmy O'Kane was a man with no name A man with no god, no government, no law And he chased down his days with a free soul, untamed, unbound That Mr. O'Kane Well he came, He saw, and he Conquered all His woods were his kingdom And to his kingdom he did call With a silent howl A howl known to all like a gale force wind, or a hard rain on a stone And his stars became one With the branches of trees As his mind it wandered Through the darkness of the pines He was burdened, and alone But not alone at all He had the means to survive, the means to know all At his lonesome camp how he would Learn all the things one could know to be good There he would spend The rest of his days Choosing to live in more Natural ways Jimmy O'Kane was a man with no name A man with no god, no government, no law And he chased down his days with a free soul, untamed, unbound That Mr. O'Kane Well his moon hangs low As its gales they blow I have known death And it is not my enemy Death come take me Over into the light Release my burden With martyred sips of wine Let the door hang open For all who choose to see We are not of a divide we are only I and I just you and me Our bodies are the vessels And our souls are their rule When we want nothing more of this life only then shall we learn the truth Jimmy O'Kane was a man with no name A man with no god, no government, no law And he chased down his days with a free soul, untamed, unbound Jimmy O'Kane was a man with no name A man with no god, no government, no law And he chased down his days with a free soul, untamed, unbound That Mr. O'Kane
9.
Teeth 02:15
She got her teeth in your neck, she's sitting on the phone Twiddling the line taking complete control And you, the boy, boy she's been looking for Don't try to say what you don't, what you don't know You got 3 months to live before the summer, the summers over You wanna cut your teeth on some dirty rag and bone But you better watch your lip as you're walking through her front door It's just a bite, a bite, you've never had before And out in the sunshine, you feel the heat in your bones You need it, you need her, you need it, no, no, no She got her teeth in your neck, shes sitting on the phone Twiddling the line taking complete control And you, the boy, boy she's been looking for Don't try to say what you don't, what you don't know
10.
Ain't it hard when you're alone and living in the city Ain't it hard when you're alone and feel so unpretty Ain't it hard when you're trying so stubborn to go back to bed Ain't it hard with these thoughts stuck in your head And you feel so alone when you're trying to go back to sleep You feel so alone lying next to her with no love to keep You feel so alone now that your lover has finally pushed off You'd feel so alone when she'd laugh and when she'd scoff Well between you and me we both got a lot to learn and between you and I, I'm just trying to get back what I've burned well your anxiety sits on a broken shelf that you built for her in the winter with your nihilistic crosses straight nails to deliver and you feel it in your knees as ya, as you try to please her well ya bite your lip and it'll suffice, left with nothin as ya quiver Well between you and me we both got a lot to learn and between you and I, I'm just trying to get back what I've earned Well Grace she sits like a dutchess, pretty, while casting her spell and her mother is sweet and her father does quite well and me I'm just sitting here alone waiting to hear those wedding bells but they've been dubiously and deviously swapped out with a funeral knell Well between you and me we both got a lot to learn and between you and I, I'm just giving ya back what ya spurned
11.
I walked down-down to the village below Walked a broken mile down a broken road My ride was all rusted my engine forlorn My hands were bleedin my palms were all torn I got-got down on my knees to pray Said please lord take this burden away I'm a lost soul sinner got nothin on my mind I'm a real breadwinner got nothing to line These poor mans pockets no penny do I keep I'm a lucky dog thinker with no place to sleep uh huh uh hu-uh The people there drank their rum and coke Their noses powdered yes indeed they did smoke The rocks from their spoons in their places to hide There was no shotgun weddings no shotgun brides And the preachers keep quiet in their sunlit rooms No rings around their fingers got nothing to lose I'm a lost soul sinner got nothin on my mind I'm a real breadwinner got nothing to line These poor mans pockets no penny do I keep I'm a lucky dog thinker with no place to sleep uh huh / uh hu-uh / uh huh uh hu-uh And it's easy to see You got to see it to believe Yes it's easy to see that I am free, I am free I'm just a man with no answers in this place I dwell These rules I've delighted and broken in so well Is this pearly cocaine heaven man or heroine hell I'm one bad Fetanyl trip from that graveyard bell I'm a lost soul sinner got nothin on my mind I'm a real breadwinner got nothing to line These poor mans pockets no penny do I keep I'm a lucky dog thinker with no place to sleep uh huh / uh hu-uh / uh huh uh hu-uh

about

'Defend Your Illusion' is the fourth full length album by Jackson Cavalier and the first one including his band The Big Dead Waltz. It includes the featured singles "Total Obliteration", and "Jimmy O'Kane" as well as 9 additional tracks.

A departure from Cavalier's signature Americana sound, 'Defend Your Illusion' is described by the composer as a "no-genre" or "post-americana" album. There are elements of indie rock, folk, punk, alt-country, classic rock, and pop that intertwine and intermix throughout the album.

The namesake for the LP comes from the philosophical notion that the reality we exist in is merely an illusion. It poses the question:

"If life is but a dream, should we not enjoy that dream?"

While not a concept album, many of the characters found in the confines of this music fight to defend that illusion and make the best of the reality in which they find themselves in.

The album was recorded at Cavalier's home studio as well as the Submarine Studio located in Rochester, NY. It was engineered and produced by Cavalier, Matthias Galley, and Ben Morey (who also mixed and mastered the album).

credits

released February 4, 2022

Jackson Cavalier:
Main Vocals, Acoustic Guitar, Electric Guitar, Harmonica, Piano (Tracks 3, 4, 7, 8), Organ (Tracks 3, 4, 7, 8, 9), Studio Engineer

Matthias Galley:
Lead Guitar, Studio Engineer

Will Westveer (Bill Westover):
Electric Bass

Joey Small:
Drums (Tracks 2, 5, 6, 10, 11)

Alex Fortier:
Piano/Organ (Tracks 2, 5, 6, 10, 11)

Devon Rose:
Harmonies

Nathan Kester:
Saxophone (Track 1)

Katie Morey:
Harmonies (Tracks 2, 5, 6, 10, 11)

Ben Morey:
Producer, Studio Engineer, Mixing and Mastering

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Jackson Cavalier Rochester, New York

Indie Folk Rocker One Man Band

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